the worst day

i had a worst day in my tennis life today. woo, what the hell i did and i dont wanna even remember about it...
my oponent was very consistance player who never makes mistakes and just return back whateva i hit. i really hate these kind of player coz im not consistence. i have being told be my coach that i need to be more so. but i just wanna kill the ball once and be done the point as soon as i can. i dont wanna keep playing long time, so just one shot.
i was very good which means never made a mistake and i had 5-2. but since i was not careless, my set became tiblaker. i was just shocked that she was getting over me and being more careless than me. even though i got this set, i gave nexe set with 7-5 or sth. after this set, i got crazy sooo much...
i dont know what happened, but every shot i hit were out or net. it is bcoz my feet didnt move at all. this is what a coach was telling me during every break, but i couldnt follow this advice. i have never had such a stupid tennis day and i have been ashamed myself. i can say that i would be tottaly good which is more consitence, aggressive and strong not only skill also mentaly. but what i have done today makes me crazy sooooo much!!!!!
i gotta practice more and more and get back my trust from my team members//

one more thing....
i think i cannot speak english at all in front of native speakers. i was wondering how come i am soo quiet to them. i know what they say like 60 to 70 percents now, but cannot communicate wiz them. it is because i dont have confidence? on the bus during the way to the match, my team mates were talking all the time, but could not join them.... when i was playin in japan, we were talking and laughing on the way back home on a bus or car. i just remembered that days, but now im not. they are soo nice to me, but i sometimes feel lonely because i compare wiz my high school days and now. i wanted to see my friends in japan....