久しぶりすぎて何を書けばいいのか分かりません。
う～ん、やっぱアメリカ人と付き合うのって難しいな。
今日はささいな事でライアンを傷つけて怒らせてしまって、慰めの言葉やExcuse、そんな自分が何も言いたいことを英語で言えないもんだから事態を悪化させてしまった。
日本人と付き合ってたら、とか。
もっとネイティブ並みの英語力があったら、とか。
２人の中にかなり壁を感じてしまって、またあたしは一人でSelfishな行動をしてしまった。
んで思い切ってChurchの帰りに言ったんだ。
『I was thinking that it is difficult having an american bf... When you got mad at me, I couldnt tell you what I really want to say, and I hurted you again....』
Then, he understood what I was trying to say him.
Sometimes he twists the word and it hurts me so much.....
So he thanked me that I told what I felt today and it made him realize.
He said that he's gonna change it because it hurts me again...
He wants me to tell everything the thing that makes me hurt or bother.
I used to hide these things because its not gonna be solved even though I tell that.
I thought problems that occur between me and my bf is not because of guys, because of me who is selfish and wagamama...
But..
He is different......
He is also trying to change with me and trying to find his bad point to me.
I just cried so much today....
I dont know why, but I really felt his love...
Being his gf is not easy than having a japanese bf..
but this is what I've decided and I love him more than anyone else.
こういう事って英語のほうがいいやすいよね；
日本語だと書きにくい。。
明日からまた一週間！がんばろう～～～
11 件のコメント:
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どんだけSweetなんですかその彼！！！
いや、一生に一回の出逢いだね、それは。
u gotta cherish him, giiirrrrrll!!
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